Staying Present

It's feeling a bit like summer just started and now it's starting to wind down. But mine has really lovely. When life it's good. it's really good.I already get to experience such wonderful intimacies with interesting, diverse people. Having regular touch and sex in my life is an incredible blessing. I have met some wonderful people over the last few months and it reminds me why I do this and enjoy doing this so much. I give a lot of myself and often I get back as much or more in return.

Trying to further my education in Buddhism - or more accurately in mindfulness for the time. Got a slew of new books to read. I'm desperately trying to teach myself to make time for meditation. I am at the point in life and my development where I know with certainty that time away from my own brain would do me wonders. It's just so damn hard! The moments you actually stop and let yourself just be are be so liberating and so joyous.

While driving back from Seattle a few months ago (I wrote about my trip here on the blog!), I was stopped for speeding and few other things. I was driving my new (used) car; I was a little emotional because of an encounter with another human; I was missing my cats; and I was driving along at quite a clip with my music blasting. I immediately began to cry - and real crying because I'm not much of a faker. The officer couldn't have been nicer to me. He asked me why I was driving recklessly. I told him I was really upset and wanted to get home. He replied something to the effect: Wouldn't that be a good time to pull over and collect yourself and not drive on the highway? How on earth can you argue with the most reasonable suggestion ever?! He cited me for a few things, and lessened the speed reported to save me insurance hikes. I left the scene far calmer than I entered it. Suddenly it was so foolish to be running away from one place (a "vacation", no less) to get home to another when I knew once I got there I would settle in to my sadness more. Life is in the getting there, the road, even the tickets. The destination may very well be irrelevant, and the way there takes up so much more of your entirety. It was a $350 lesson in mindfulness . But every single time since then I have driven on the highway, I set my cruise control to 5 miles above the speed limit and drive calmly and with no fear of coming face to face with any more kind officers.

See - mindfulness saves lives - it may have saved yours if you're driving next to me!